Memories...

Today has been one of those days...the kind where the tears fall freely and are never really far from the surface. The kind where you question. The kind that is filled with sadness and hurt. The kind that leaves you hugging your kids a little tighter and reflecting on years gone by.

It has just been a day. I never did get out of my jammies. Never attempted to put my contacts in or an ounce of makeup on. Although I did brush my teeth, my hair is a wreck and I would be traumatized if someone showed up at our door today!

As I sit here tonight it is nearly 11:00. Huntler is still wide awake and getting in bed to snuggle with Chris as I type {he rarely takes naps but happened to have a late one today}. While we were in Kansas for those two weeks, we each slept with one of the kids. Huntler is having a REALLY hard time adjusting back to sleeping in his own bed and has wound up with us every single night since we got home! As frustrating as it is at 4:00 AM to have absolutely NO space to move a muscle, I know that this phase will pass all too quickly and my little man will no longer need the comforts of mom and dad in the wee hours of the morning. And then I will be sad...

I will miss the morning times of snuggles and laughter. The tickles and the giggling that fill the room as the four of us cuddle in the safety of our queen sized bed...tucked away from the harshness and reality of the real world.

Being the day of reflection that it has been, we just took a little trip down memory lane...Huntler and I that is. Looking back at pictures of him as a baby and a little guy. He still is a little guy, my little guy, but he is so grown up. When did that happen? And how did I miss it? Where are the chubby cheeks and the rolls on his thighs? What happened to the diapers and onesies?

They have been replaced by a skinny, train obsessed, school attending big boy who although loves us all dearly {he tells us so NUMEROUS times a day and has a colossal meltdown if he thinks that one of us is going to get left behind}, is gaining independence each and every day.

Tears once again are falling freely as I flash back on the last four and a half years of my life. The memories, the smiles, the trials, the challenges, the happiness, the love. I am far from a perfect mom, I will openly admit it. Sometimes my priorities get a little out of whack. Sometimes I lose my temper and react more abruptly than is necessary. Sometimes I feed my kids Cheetos and pop for lunch. Despite my many flaws, I love my kids more than life itself and can't fathom a second of my life without either one of them.

They each bring something so different to my days. Huntler is our grounded one. The serious, thoughtful, overtly lovey one. He is quiet, content. Gentry is our sassy one. The funny, challenging, free spirited little girl who has a mind of her own and opinions galore.

I mentioned the other day that I was working on a post about Huntler. I post SO much of Gentry that I don't want anyone to think I never take pics of my little guy! He just happens to be at school a lot of the time I get the camera out. And when he's home, he is usually not so much into having his picture taken and flashes that cheesy, fake smile we all know so well!

Here are a few that caught my eye tonight as we were looking back on years gone by...

Here we are at Thomas the Train in July of 2005!! Maybe we started this train obsession way back when?



And again in June of 2006...I LOVE this shot!! Look how little, cute and chubby he was. Why does time go by SO fast?



And this was August of 2006...he was just shy of turning two. We were at the county fair in my hometown. Gentry was just a couple of weeks old and our move was just around the corner. It was hot. I was tired. I remember breaking down and crying my eyes out while talking to friends my parents. It was such a crazy time in our lives...



And here are a few from last week. I had hopes of getting some cute shots with Huntler and his trains for his Valentines, but the grass was wet and he wasn't wanting to lay quite like I wanted him to so I didn't push it. But I got these images I absolutely love!!







And on that note I am signing off for the night! I did manage to get the dress done I was making {but somehow bent ANOTHER needle!!} and have since started on some fun loopy bows!! I think I'll go work on those some more!! Anyway, I'll post pics when I get my model out and have the chance to photograph her in her happy new dress!! We could all use the smiles!