Time...

So...it has been quite some time since I have sat down at the computer and "written" in my signature style...the philosophical, deep, thought provoking style that before I had kids was the only way I knew how to write! However, nearly four years and a lot of chaos later, I find myself just jotting down the basics and moving on! But, to be honest I think I am doing pretty darn good to be getting that much done! 

However, I miss writing! I have always loved it. At one point in my life (many, many moons ago) I thought I was going to grow up to write children's books. I also thought I would grow up to be a marine biologist. Keep in mind I can't swim worth a darn and I am from Kansas...the most central state in the US and about as far away from an ocean as one can be! But, that is the fabulous thing about childhood...NO dream is too big. No hope is too outlandish and no obstacles stand in the way. At what point do we begin to realize the realities of life? Hmmm....

Anyway, we were driving home from running some errands this morning and I was just thinking as I often do while driving out here in the desert! My mind was wandering and I was thinking of how much I have changed since Chris and I met, since we had Huntler and Gentry, and most recently since we uprooted our little family and moved miles away from home to start this chapter of our life in Arizona. I don't mean the 17 different hairstyles I have had or the fact that my hips are a tad wider but my arms are far more muscular...I am talking about changing at the core of who I really am. Deep stuff, hunh?!

I was thinking of how time has such an amazing way of changing us, of teaching us.   An "I only wish I knew then what I know now" sort of thing. When we lived in Kansas I took SO many things for granted...family, friendships, neighbors, comfort... If we REALLY needed a grandma, it was only a 3 hour drive. If we needed a friend, it was only a 15 second walk down the street. 

Sometimes it takes something truly significant (as in a move across country!!) to snap you into reality and show you what is important. The "old" me didn't want anyone at our house when we brought Huntler home from the hospital. I just wanted it to be the three of us. And it was... Sitting  here now, I wonder what in the world I was thinking? I mean really, WHAT was I thinking?! No grandparents there to help out. No one to fix dinner or keep us company. So, by the time the birth of our sweet Gentry girl came around...I did too. Obviously we NEEDED help this time as we had a 22 month old little guy that needed to be taken care of while we were in the hospital, but it was more than that...more than just needing a babysitter. We had family and friends and it was such a special time in our lives. I remember crying and crying the day my parents had to leave. Isn't it funny how much can change in such a short amount of time?!

I used to stress out, I mean R*E*A*L*L*Y stress out when we would have company. Friends or family, that didn't matter. Just popping in for a visit or spending the night, that didn't matter. It was a major ordeal in my mind. As in, holy cow I have to clean and clean and clean some more and it still won't be perfect. My silverware isn't lined up in the drawer, the windows are dirty and the towels aren't folded to perfection in the closet. And then the thought of all the cleaning up that would come AFTER our overnight company left...that was about too much to handle! Yes, I suffered from some serious obsessive compulsiveness! And although I am still obsessive about certain things, I have grown in leaps and bounds in that category! Just come check our silverware drawer or the sheets in the linen closet! :)

Anyway...I guess where I am going with this is that time has a way of "healing" us all. I no longer spend hours cleaning before company comes over. Yeah, I clean the bathrooms and sweep up all the crumbs that collect underneath the cabinets, but I don't stress about it anymore. I don't lose sleep over the fact that someone might be offended by the fact that there are handprints ALL OVER our patio door, that there is dust on our entryway table or that there is mail piled up on the desk. Yeah, in a perfect world it would be ideal if it were all tidy and clean, but this is not a perfect world and I am not a perfect person. I am just a mom who loves my family with all my heart and is trying my best to find my way in this world.

Over the last couple of weeks I have been sifting through thousands of photos looking for those "Perfect Six" that will be edited and printed on canvas and hung in our bedroom. Although I am learning my way through Photoshop slowly but surely, I am by far no guru and enlisted the help of an amazing photographer, Tonya, to take my images and turn them into breathtaking works of art. So given my six photos and some examples of the style I was envisioning (vintage with a twist - go figure!), she created these amazing memories for us! 

Looking back, I can remember when each of these was taken. Some are obviously more recent than others, but I can still remember. Time...each image captured and forever frozen in time. 

Ok...you had a sneak peak up at the top, but if you have stayed with me through all of that babble, you deserve to check out the rest of these awesome pictures! I can't wait to get the finished results up on our wall! (These will be the 16x20 canvas' that hang on our striped wall in our bedroom!)